Hi there, Tim. You might remember me, a bit. You bumped into me with my girlfriend in Pitt Street mall in Sydney on Wednesday night and asked me for directions to the monorail station. I gave you a puzzled look for a moment before I worked out who you were, and proceeded to give you completely wrong directions. You should have continued along Pitt St, across Market St, and it would have been there on your right. I haven’t caught the monorail in years, and hope you weren’t lost for too long. It’s apparently a very male thing to do, give directions even though you aren’t certain. I think I should rely on that defense. I hope things are going well for you, I always kinda liked ‘Don’t Forget Your Toothbrush’.
Oh, my girlfriend says hi. She had no idea who you were, but then again, she’s Belgian and can be forgiven for that. And the reason she acted so shocked when you said we make a lovely couple and should have lots of babies right away… is because we’ve been together for six weeks. Not cool, amigo!
For those of you who don’t know who Tim Ferguson is (and really, to be fair, that’d be most people, Tim), he is a former member of the comedic Australian band “Doug Anthony All Stars” and occassionally crops up in media related places. He’s in the middle of the picture above. I’ve been heckled before by his buddy, Paul McDermott (he’s the guy on the left, he called me Seal Boy for some reason). If I buy a taco off Richard Fidler one day does that make my life complete?