Happy Birthday, Little Johnny
John Howard celebrates his birthday in style, with a little surprise from his loyal foreign minister, Alexander Downer.
Starring:
Matthew Smith as John Howard and Alexander Downer
Stanley Brain as Peter Costello and the Security Guard
Written by Matthew Smith
Produced by Stuart Moncrieff
I’m going to stand up and say it loud, say it proud: I am so glad that I didn’t waste money on seeing this movie. You can interpret that however you like it - a friend may have paid for a ticket, or I may be indulging in pirate copies - I’ll leave it up to your imagination. But there is no way to deny that when I saw the word ‘Hasbro’ at the start of the movie, I felt a chill up my spine. Not since the days of Barbie has a movie based on a toy line been so widely anticipated.
The transformers didn’t look remotely convincing. Shia LaBouf is meant to be the next Tom Hanks - lets see him act with a dog ‘Turner and Hooch’ style, it isn’t going to happen!
At the start of the film, Shia is trying to flog all his grandfather’s stuff, what is essentially priceless family heirlooms, literally from the 1840s, to get his car payments. This ends in bad news, his teacher gives him an overly generous grade, goes home, trips over a foosball table that he has in his room, puts his gear down near one of at least three computers that are loitering around the room… I mean, hello Shia, if you’re trying to raise a bit of coin, you think maybe there are other things you can sell!?
And you’d think the movie would get very ‘Hulk smash’ with giant robots and cities being in the way. And while it does get like this towards the end, Michael Bay seems to be way more interested stuffing around with a nerd who’s trying to score action with a hot chick! Let me tell you something people, I was a nerd in high school, and if you think that the hot girl is going to realise that she doesn’t want the rich muscly football jock with the nice car and would much rather be with the nerdy guy who’s in a beaten up old smoke belching thing, clambering for her boobs and making lame excuses about seatbelts, then hey, you’re in for a shock. My encyclopedic knowledge of Star Trek got me nothing in high school!
And when you think about it, the ending couldn’t have been more creepier if it tried. What’s with Optimus Prime and the rest of the perverts loitering around while Shia gets it on with the hot chick on Bumblebee’s chest? That is very weird. That is very ‘Eight Transformers of Interest’ right there.
Tierra de los Muertos, Part 03
With the help of a mail order encyclopedia (Tales From the Land of the Dead, volume 1), Death learns more about the legend of the Chosen One and how he will lead the way to the Gates of the Afterlife.
Starring:
Lawrence Aitchison as Miguel Huesos
Matthew Smith as Tomas ‘Red’ Encion
Stanley Brain as Number Two
Stuart Moncrieff as Death
Written and produced by Matthew Smith
Don’t worry, Nightlight hasn’t been abandoned. There’s just a few things going on at once, that’s all.
- I’m in the process of moving. WHERE I’m moving hasn’t been finalised yet, but packing (well, more like throwing away most of my worldly yet useless possessions) is in full swing.
- Beneath Monkey Island part 4 is 75% recorded. I can’t do any more work on it until I get the last lines through, and I hope that will be soon.
- Gabez (of Mixnmojo fame) and myself are working on something a little special, and a little different. Something that I like to call the ‘theatre restaurant of the mind’. Fruits of this labour could be seen as soon as next week. Could be.
- There’ll be another ‘repeat’ going online tonight. I’ll be sticking with Tierra de los Muertos repeats for now.
Tierra de los Muertos, Part 02
Our story continues as Number Two finds his way (reluctantly) to the Land of the Dead, and assumes his role (ever so reluctantly) as the Chosen One who will lead the way to the Gates of the Afterlife!
Starring:
Lawrence Aitchison as Miguel Huesos
Matthew Smith as Tomas ‘Red’ Encion
Stanley Brain as Number Two
Stuart Moncrieff as Death
Casey Scott as Avegail Cervantes
Written and produced by Matthew Smith
