Excerpted from “The Memoirs of Carl, the Swordmaster of Jambalaya Island: The Monkey Island years”

“My swashbuckling adventure, if that’s what you want to call it, hasn’t entirely gotten off to the best start. Barely out of Melee Island, and look where we find ourselves: crossing swords with the likes of Guybrush at my side, I’m not sure who I should be scared of!”

Starring:
Justin Franklin as Guybrush Threepwood
Matthew Smith as Carl, the Swordmaster of Jambalaya Island
Stanley Brain as Valora DeCazador and Sum Ting Wong
Brian Goodrich as Sir Creigh Blue

Written and produced by Matthew Smith

‘Is This Love’ by Bob Marley
‘Kung Fu Fighting’ by Carl Douglas

‘The Saga. Can’t do it. Not Today.’

The Millenium Compliant (along with all aboard) is tractor beamed into the fast food fly-thru to order their food. Unfortunately for them, as they come up with a plan to save the princess, Darth Vapour feels a disturbance in the force…

Starring:
Lawrence Aitchison as Narrator, Lube Skystalker
Matthew Smith as Darth Vapour, Mouldy-Bun Baloney and Pooey the Wookiee
Stanley Brain as Number Two, Ham Slowmo

Written and produced by Matthew Smith

“Tilt Ya Head Back” - by Nelly

Auditions are now open for the roll of Guybrush Threepwood!

Nightlight Productions is in the process of assembling a radio play called ‘Beneath Monkey Island’. Three parts are in the can, and the majority of the remainder are recorded. All that remains is to find someone to play Guybrush Threepwood.

What’s that, I hear you say? You’ve always wanted to go on a swashbuckling adventure? Well here’s your chance!

Simply record your best effort as Guybrush Threepwood’s voice. Make your recording clear and crisp as possible. Then send them on to galactichand@hotmail.com! Who knows what adventures may await you! Don’t forget to catch up on the first three parts of Beneath Monkey Island in the radio series page, to jog your memory!

You don’t know exactly what to say? Here are some handy audition lines for you, with many thanks to Shadriss in his debute roll as the French pirate, Sir Creigh Blue!

Guybrush: People consider my fists to be lethal weapons!

Creigh: I’m sowwy, but your bweath should be equawy weckoned!

Guybrush: My what should be what what?

Creigh: I got this scar on my face duwing a mighty stwuggle!

Guybrush: Errr… what’s a stwuggle?

and finally…

Guybrush: I’m Guybrush Threepwood, a mighty pirate! Yarrrrr!

‘The Saga? Continuing. Right Here.’

There is no rebel base on Pantooine, and Darth Vapour feels hurt and betrayed by Princess Leer. Meanwhile Lube Skystalker and Mouldy-Bun Baloney are escaping on the Millennium Compliant, with Ham Slowmo and a Wookiee named Pooey!

Starring:
Lawrence Aitchison as Narrator, Lube Skystalker
Matthew Smith as Darth Vapour, Mouldy-Bun Baloney and Pooey the Wookiee
Stanley Brain as Number Two, Ham Slowmo

Written and produced by Matthew Smith

“Heya” - by Outkast

The song is about Richard Marsland (the panel operator on ‘Get This’) and was played while a support rally for the show was on the streets outside the studios.

So please enjoy this bit of self indulgence, which has nothing to do with anything Nightlight except it’s me.

That will be all.

‘The Saga Continues to Continue…’

Lube and Mouldy-Bun Baloney use a convenient mind trick to get past a stormblooper patrol. Darth Vapour shows his dark side, and unleashes his fury on the planet Alderdamn!

Starring:
Lawrence Aitchison as Narrator, Lube Skystalker
Matthew Smith as Darth Vapour, Mouldy-Bun Baloney, See Creepio
Stanley Brain as Number Two, Stormblooper guard
Sarah Farley as Princess Leer

Written and produced by Matthew Smith

“Nasty Girl” - by Nitty

‘The Saga Continues…’

A long time ago in a galaxy basically just around the corner in the grand scheme of things, it is a period of civil war. During the mighty battle, rebel spies manage to steal the secret plan to the empire’s ultimate weapon: the Dud Star, an intergalactic fast food restaurant complete with warp drive and shiny new seats. When they ask you if you want fries with that, I highly recommend you say ‘yes please’.

Starring:
Lawrence Aitchison as Narrator, Lube Skystalker
Matthew Smith as Darth Vapour, Mouldy-Bun Baloney, See Creepio
Stanley Brain as Number Two
Sarah Farley as Princess Leer

Written and produced by Matthew Smith

“Yeah!” by Usher

Miguel, Death, Number Two and Tomas make their way across the River of Blood to the Gates of the Afterlife. Number Two finally completes his purpose, which he has been complaining about for the past however many parts.

Starring:
Lawrence Aitchison as Miguel Huesos
Matthew Smith as Tomas ‘Red’ Encion
Stanley Brain as Number Two and Valora DeCazador
Stuart Moncrieff as Death

Written and produced by Matthew Smith

And also this link, which is Nightlight circa early 2005.

Slightly worrying that I was still talking about Beneath Monkey Island at that time. Part 4 will hopefully come one day…

Miguel, Death, Number Two and Tomas finally manage to evade the pygmy headhunters, and are finally drawn towards the volcano on Isla Calavera, which is the only possible source of the ‘River of Blood’… (well, there is one other, but Number Two isn’t exactly proving co-operative).

Starring:
Lawrence Aitchison as Miguel Huesos
Matthew Smith as Tomas ‘Red’ Encion
Stanley Brain as Number Two and Valora DeCazador
Stuart Moncrieff as Death

Written and produced by Matthew Smith

With Death captured by headhunters on Isla Calavera, Number Two and Tomas Encion act as a diversion, giving Miguel the opportunity to sneak into the village and rescue him!

Starring:
Lawrence Aitchison as Miguel Huesos
Matthew Smith as Tomas ‘Red’ Encion
Stanley Brain as Number Two and Valora DeCazador
Stuart Moncrieff as Death

Written and produced by Matthew Smith

1. Finish the Tierra de los Muertos book
4. Pay more attention to Nightlight
5. Lose weight
7. Sleep naked in a hammock
9. Promote world peace

Three of those, I’m glad to say (or slightly worried to say, in the case of sleeping naked in a hammock) I can safely cross off. Promoting world peace wasn’t all that successful, and as for Nightlight… poor, neglected Nightlight.

So this year, I have three resolutions. You ready? I’m determined to keep these.

1. Tierra de los Muertos gets published (Might not be able to keep, but sure, I’m going to do everything I can)
2. Nightlight is no longer going to be neglected
3. Worry less, and be happy

I don’t know entirely how the second one is going to be fulfilled yet - at times, the progress of Nightlight (notably Beneath Monkey Island, presently) is a little out of my hands, plus living in Melbourne puts me pretty much out of the support zone as far as getting new material recorded easily. But it occurs to me that where there’s a will, there’s a way, even if it means booking myself into a recording studio for an hour or so down here and recording a new, original series by myself. Might be limited in the characters and voices, but I’m sure it’s workable.

So the light isn’t going out. And hopefully, I’m gonna let it shine…

And so I spent the majority of Christmas day sitting in front of the television watching Magnum P.I. in a Hawaiian shirt. I’d long since resigned to the fact that I was too poor to fly to my family for the holiday, and somehow had worked myself up to actually look forward to the bizarre method of celebration. Tom Sellick is definitely a quieter, less stressful person to spend Christmas with than anything else I’d ever experienced.

After a while, text messages started trickling through to my phone. I was out of credit and unable to reply, but I appreciated it all the same. So to those dropped me a line, my love to all five of you, if you read this. Heck, I’ll even extend it to the two people who are not in my phone, who I have no idea to the identity of, but still thought enough of me to send these:

“Merry christmas honey.. And have a safe and happy new year..! XOX”

Bit of a mystery, because ‘honey’ would indicate I’m familiar with her in some way shape or form. I’m assuming it’s a ‘her’. I’m hoping. Then there’s the second one, who should maybe seek some psychiatric help. But hey, the sentiments are appreciated.

“Merry christmas boys! Happy anti-muslim day! May baby Jesus smite his enemies on his bday! I like to think as jesus as a ninja fighting off evil samarai”

Any weird text message contents do not reflect the opinions of myself or anyone who considers themselves amongst the Nightlight crew. I’d better make that point clear before the website ends up at war with another country. Really, one is enough.

Christmas love to all. Yes, even to you, China. Be well.

The Howard Christmas Carol

The Evil Doctor Beazley and Number Two narrate a story that takes place on Christmas eve, when Prime Minister John Howard finds himself bad tempered and all alone. It’s up to the three spirits of Christmas to show him the error of his ways and what the holiday season means to others!

Starring:
Matthew Smith as John Howard, Alexander Downer, Mr. Bigglesworth, and Pauline Hanson
Stuart Moncrieff as the Evil Doctor Beazley, Jesus, and Death
Stanley Brain as Number Two and Peter Costello

Written by Matthew Smith
Produced by Stuart Moncrieff

As a special Christmas Bonus, the smash hit single ‘You’ve Got a Friend in Me’ performed by Dr. Beazley and Number Two!

Starring:
Lawrence Aitchison as Miguel Huesos
Matthew Smith as Tomas ‘Red’ Encion
Stanley Brain as Number Two & Valora DeCazador
Stuart Moncrieff as Death
Guillermo Fiori as Pilot

Written and produced by Matthew Smith

China, as I’m sure that many of you are aware, has a one child policy. Recently they’ve come up with slogans to try and help people see the good side of this policy, and those slogans… well… they haven’t exactly been popular. The light hearted nature of ‘raise fewer babies, but more piggies’ has been lost on the Chinese. And can you blame them? They’re not used to their government being light hearted. They’re accustomed to their government banning innocent comedy websites.

So in an effort to maybe repair some of the bridges I’ve burnt, I’m willing to help China out. China, here’s some slogans you may want to try to help promote this ‘one-child’ malarky.

‘Hey, you on the bike, stop breeding!’
‘I wouldn’t have any more kids… for all the tea round here!’
‘More kids equal less rice for everyone concerned!’
‘1.32 billion people. A fifth of the world. That should do it, we’ve got it covered now!’

You don’t have to thank me right away!

Cast adrift in the Empty Sea, Miguel, Number Two, and Tomas are rescued by a shashbuckling adventure who is on his own quest for the far off distant land of Isla Calavera!

Starring:
Lawrence Aitchison as Miguel Huesos
Matthew Smith as Tomas ‘Red’ Encion
Stanley Brain as Number Two
Stuart Moncrieff as Death

Written and produced by Matthew Smith

Nothing much is going to change on Nightlight. There’ll be updates still, there’ll be fun, there’ll be podcasts. So from your perspective, little will change. Although for me… I’ll be living on the other side of the country, backpacker style. I have what I need - clothes, a macbook, and a guitar. And I couldn’t be looking forward to it any more than I am.

So for those who talk to me on messenger, I might be a bit scarce for quite a while. But hey, you all have facebook, don’t you? If not, why not? I’m on there. There’s a Nightlight Productions group on there as well. Go and join the fun and catch up on my escapades. Facebook is a wonderful thing for that, as well as other things. Incidentally, happy birthday, Limpy. All my love, in a totally manly way, in your general direction!

Miguel, Tomas, and Number Two depart on their aquatic adventure to the far off distant land of Isla Calavera. Death appears before they leave with a final (and sincere) offer of help.

Starring:
Lawrence Aitchison as Miguel Huesos
Matthew Smith as Tomas ‘Red’ Encion
Stanley Brain as Number Two
Stuart Moncrieff as Death

Written and produced by Matthew Smith

Miguel takes Tomas and Number Two to see the Great Sage, who provides a final bit of vital exposition, and points them in the right direction of the Gates of the Afterlife, which lie on the lost Isla Calavera!

Starring:
Lawrence Aitchison as Miguel Huesos
Matthew Smith as Tomas ‘Red’ Encion
Stanley Brain as Number Two
Godfrey Tanner as The Great Sage
Stuart Moncrieff as Death
Casey Scott as Avegail Cervantes

Written and produced by Matthew Smith

I stumbled into Die Hard 4.0 (as it was weakly called here in Australia) about seven minutes late and apparently having missed a fair slice of action. I didn’t care though: it was a movie I’d been looking forward to for quite a while, and it didn’t disappoint me. For a large part of the movie I had to switch my brain off, yes. I had to accept the scene where John McClane crashes a car into a helicopter, or runs along the wings of a fighter jet… and this I could do.

But now we reach the dangers of reading too much on the internet. I think, to some extent, it takes the fun out of movies. Not that I read spoilers or plot points, but I did stumble across the fact that Die Hard 4 was edited down to a PG rating in the US. So since I was looking for it, I noticed it. I missed John McClane using swear words like it’s a second language. I missed the uncensored ‘yippie ki-aye’s that were so sincere in previous movies where dying was hard. And yes, the action was excessive at times to the point where it was unrealistic. Despite this, it’s probably not saying much for cinema this year, but hey - best movie so far this year that I’ve seen. Actually, maybe that doesn’t say much for me.

Bruce Willis gets covered in blood, and needs to be given a comfy seat and a blanket. The hacker guy didn’t try and sell me a mac. The special effects weren’t as cheesy and bad as Transformers (Hoo boy, now I’m in for it…).

One worrying fact is that Hollywood isn’t letting Bruce Willis rest. Or Harrison Ford. Or Sylvester Stallone (although I think most of us would prefer it if he stopped). It seems we have no decent upcoming action heroes, so we’re currently relying on the old guard to get us through the decade. I’m genuinely serious about this - I think The Rock missed his chance, and Brendan Frasier is too pretty to have the crap beaten out of him and still be appealing. Help me out, people: am I missing something?

John Howard celebrates his birthday in style, with a little surprise from his loyal foreign minister, Alexander Downer.

Starring:
Matthew Smith as John Howard and Alexander Downer
Stanley Brain as Peter Costello and the Security Guard

Written by Matthew Smith
Produced by Stuart Moncrieff

I’m going to stand up and say it loud, say it proud: I am so glad that I didn’t waste money on seeing this movie. You can interpret that however you like it - a friend may have paid for a ticket, or I may be indulging in pirate copies - I’ll leave it up to your imagination. But there is no way to deny that when I saw the word ‘Hasbro’ at the start of the movie, I felt a chill up my spine. Not since the days of Barbie has a movie based on a toy line been so widely anticipated.

The transformers didn’t look remotely convincing. Shia LaBouf is meant to be the next Tom Hanks - lets see him act with a dog ‘Turner and Hooch’ style, it isn’t going to happen!

At the start of the film, Shia is trying to flog all his grandfather’s stuff, what is essentially priceless family heirlooms, literally from the 1840s, to get his car payments. This ends in bad news, his teacher gives him an overly generous grade, goes home, trips over a foosball table that he has in his room, puts his gear down near one of at least three computers that are loitering around the room… I mean, hello Shia, if you’re trying to raise a bit of coin, you think maybe there are other things you can sell!?

And you’d think the movie would get very ‘Hulk smash’ with giant robots and cities being in the way. And while it does get like this towards the end, Michael Bay seems to be way more interested stuffing around with a nerd who’s trying to score action with a hot chick! Let me tell you something people, I was a nerd in high school, and if you think that the hot girl is going to realise that she doesn’t want the rich muscly football jock with the nice car and would much rather be with the nerdy guy who’s in a beaten up old smoke belching thing, clambering for her boobs and making lame excuses about seatbelts, then hey, you’re in for a shock. My encyclopedic knowledge of Star Trek got me nothing in high school!

And when you think about it, the ending couldn’t have been more creepier if it tried. What’s with Optimus Prime and the rest of the perverts loitering around while Shia gets it on with the hot chick on Bumblebee’s chest? That is very weird. That is very ‘Eight Transformers of Interest’ right there.

With the help of a mail order encyclopedia (Tales From the Land of the Dead, volume 1), Death learns more about the legend of the Chosen One and how he will lead the way to the Gates of the Afterlife.

Starring:
Lawrence Aitchison as Miguel Huesos
Matthew Smith as Tomas ‘Red’ Encion
Stanley Brain as Number Two
Stuart Moncrieff as Death

Written and produced by Matthew Smith

- I’m in the process of moving. WHERE I’m moving hasn’t been finalised yet, but packing (well, more like throwing away most of my worldly yet useless possessions) is in full swing.
- Beneath Monkey Island part 4 is 75% recorded. I can’t do any more work on it until I get the last lines through, and I hope that will be soon.
- Gabez (of Mixnmojo fame) and myself are working on something a little special, and a little different. Something that I like to call the ‘theatre restaurant of the mind’. Fruits of this labour could be seen as soon as next week. Could be.
- There’ll be another ‘repeat’ going online tonight. I’ll be sticking with Tierra de los Muertos repeats for now.

Our story continues as Number Two finds his way (reluctantly) to the Land of the Dead, and assumes his role (ever so reluctantly) as the Chosen One who will lead the way to the Gates of the Afterlife!

Starring:
Lawrence Aitchison as Miguel Huesos
Matthew Smith as Tomas ‘Red’ Encion
Stanley Brain as Number Two
Stuart Moncrieff as Death
Casey Scott as Avegail Cervantes

Written and produced by Matthew Smith

Based on the Monkey Island games by Lucas Arts, containing characters created by Ron Gilbert.

Excerpted from “The Memoirs of Carl, the Swordmaster of Jambalaya Island: The Monkey Island years”

“And so begins an epic voyage to the far off distant land of Monkey Island. Who knows what dangers we could encounter? And no, we are not stopping for a toilet break!”

Starring:
Tom Negrette as Guybrush Threepwood
Matthew Smith as Carl and LeChuck
Stanley Brain as Number Two and Valora DeCazador

Written and produced by Matthew Smith

“Chica Bonita” by Shaggy
“You Give Love a Bad Name” by Bon Jovi

‘The Saga Begins…’

A long time ago in a galaxy basically just around the corner in the grand scheme of things, it is a period of civil war. During the mighty battle, rebel spies manage to steal the secret plan to the empire’s ultimate weapon: the Dud Star, an intergalactic fast food restaurant complete with warp drive and shiny new seats. When they ask you if you want fries with that, I highly recommend you say ‘yes please’.

Starring:
Lawrence Aitchison as Narrator, Emperor, Nearly Dead Rebel
Matthew Smith as Darth Vapour
Stanley Brain as Number Two

Written and produced by Matthew Smith

A while ago, when the Tierra de los Muertos 3D movie project was still in full swing, I asked Sallim if he could knock a few Tierra based wallpapers together. Being the slacker that I am at times, I never got around to putting them on Nightlight Productions. Until now, that is. Here’s the first one that he did, and incidently one of my favourites. Death listening to his ipod shuffle.

That’s right, an ipod shuffle. Remember those? That might give you an idea as to how old this wallpaper is!

site note: The latest podcast installment for Nightlight will be making it’s appearance within the next 24 hours. Those who are waiting for the continuation of Beneath Monkey Island, it’s in sight: you’ll have to wait until next week. Hopefully the debut of LeChuck will be worth the wait!

Like quite a large amount of people on the web, I watched Heroes with somewhat an avid amount of attention. Every episode made me interested enough to tune into the next, which is exactly what a television series wants, but I couldn’t help but feel that it turned out to be more of a soap opera show then it should have been. I mean, really, these people have super powers. What would be the first thing you’d do if you had super powers?

Me? I’d go for the cool costume. I’d start making a name for myself. I’d right the wrongs. I’d live for a sigh, I’d die for a kiss. I suppose a few of the characters, Peter most notably, tried to do this (sans costume, of course). But really they kind of took the fun out of it.

Oh, and come on, you’re meant to be superheroes! Over the entire course of the season, no one seemed even inclined to pick up a dumpster and throw it at someone, and there was Nikki clearly possessing the power to do so. Plus if you’re mutating genes, is it such a stretch that some of these people wouldn’t look entirely human?

So here’s my idea for a super hero. Tim Kring, feel free to take notes.

He’s called the Sandman, or alternatively (because Spiderman fans might have something to say about that), the Sleepwalker. Pretty much he’s a character that only has the powers to fight evil when he’s asleep - as a result he isn’t even aware of the fact. He’d wear a sleep mask, and a blanket tied around his shoulders as a cape. He’s got a theme song already lined up, courtesy of the band ‘America’ (I understand you’ve been running from a man that goes by the name of the Sandman). So in a way, he’s a bit like Isaac, as in he needs a catalyst in order to access his powers. Maybe over the course of the season he would actually work out that he has superpowers. Heck, he can even have a dark, sinister side - after all, it is dangerous to wake a sleepwalker.

You’ve got to admit, it’s one superpower that hasn’t been done yet…

Don S. Davis is best known for playing Major General/Lieutenant General George S. Hammond in the science fiction television series Stargate SG-1, and earlier for playing Major Garland Briggs on the television series Twin Peaks. He is a character actor, former theatre professor, painter, stuntman, and was a captain in the U. S. Army in the 1960s.

This interview was recorded on 29th April, 2007 at the FSF Stargate Convention.

Normally, China and Nightlight Productions have quite a friendly relationship. I’ve never declared war on them. They’ve never tried to impose unfair trade tariffs on me. All in all our relationship has been quite amicable - I’ve occasionally escaped with the ‘ris-kay’ joke that could be seen as racist in radio shows, approaching gong territory, definitely be seen as cheap and requiring change from a dollar…

Those days are over. China has banned Nightlight Productions.

This is probably something that I shouldn’t take personally. It was possibly a bit of a misunderstanding, maybe Nightlight unintentionally broke an international agreement that it wasn’t aware of. Maybe it was innocently talking about a certain never-to-be-released album by Guns N Roses in the forums, and China took it the wrong way.

But it’s typical really, isn’t it. Easy to offend, ban first, read forum threads completely later. So what if Nightlight started acting in the same way? From now on, no chinese food from the local takeaway shop. Not even sweet and sour pork. No more products that are made in China. The whales? I’ve suddenly become all defensive for them, heck, I think I might even write a protest song. Right after I finish penning the one that’ll get Paris Hilton out of prison.

It’s not all bad though - Nightlight has now joined an illustrious group of rejected websites, including google.com, the wikipedia, homestarrunner, plus what is sure to be thousands of porn sites. So as always, there’s a silver lining.

But the relationship that Nightlight had with China is, I must regretfully say, forever tainted. Me no rikey, China. Me no rikey.

Welcome one and all to Tierra de los Muertos, the Land of the Dead: a place of transition between the living world and the underworld, a place where souls exist and work together to repay those sins they committed while alive. This is the story of three such souls, and one terribly lost mortal, in the quest for redemption, treasure, and the Gates of the Afterlife!

Starring:
Lawrence Aitchison as Miguel Huesos
Matthew Smith as Tomas ‘Red’ Encion
Stanley Brain as Number Two
Stuart Moncrieff as Death
Casey Scott as Avegail Cervantes

Written and produced by Matthew Smith

There will be four releases a month. At the moment it will consist of one new part (at present that being Beneath Monkey Island), two ‘classic’ parts (that means that Tierra de los Muertos and Lost Cause will be rehashed in podcast format. They’re in higher audio quality anyway, so they’re worth getting), and one other ‘thing’.

At the moment, the other ‘thing’ is going to be celebrity interviews. I’ve got a couple in the can already, and I’m hopeful about some more in the future (I’m not going to drop names though, in case they don’t eventuate).

Essentially, it’s going to be a variety of things, new and old, something for hopefully everyone.

And hey, the website is being updated. Thank the Holy Zebra for small blessings, okay?

When I walked out of Spiderman 3, I quite liked the movie. I enjoyed the action, I enjoyed the drama, we seemed to make a good team, the ol’ movie and audience.

But then I talked to a friend about it. And I thought about it. The more I thought about it, the weirder it seems that I’d like the movie. Sure, there were likable parts, but there were also parts that weren’t so good, and a couple which made it into the ‘weird and disturbing’ category (almost exclusively inhabited by an emo dance scene). It could really have done with a few reels missing. I was getting uncomfortable in my seat at times, I felt like going out and doing some banking!

Then there were all the things that didn’t make sense. There were plenty. I’m just going to list a few, but feel free to chime in with your own in the comments, and I’ll edit this. Because some of this needs to be said.

1. If Sandman was so intent on getting money for his daughter, why didn’t he turn around and sue the scientific mob who had the experiment going and are essentially responsible for him becoming a pile of sand? If someone can break into a house, injure themselves, and sue the homeowners, then surely Sandman has grounds for a legal case. You can’t get an erection when you’re made of sand. It isn’t going to work. There’s something to start you, sandy!
2. Didn’t Peter Parker’s neighbours get suspicious when they saw Spiderman jumping out of the window at regular intervals? Because really, they can’t miss it all the time. Wouldn’t at least one of them think ‘hey, that Spiderman sure hangs around at Peter Parker’s place a lot…’
3. Why did the black space goo decide to target Peter Parker specifically? Why did it hang around his apartment for a few days before making its move? Was it taking in the sites of the city, seeing the statue of liberty, watching daytime television, taking the subway…
4. Did Green Goblin Jr. have a plan to get at Spiderman beyond messing with his love life in a rather lame fashion? After provoking Spiderman and getting the snot beaten out of him (again), that was pretty much it. And what was the deal with the ‘amnesia’ storyline if it was just buying time? The better option was to write him out near the start of the movie with a bit of jail time and come back later, scars and all, but willing to work with Peter for the sake of Mary Jane. While he was in there, he could meet the Sandman. They could plot a breakout together.

Better movie? I think so.

Based on the Monkey Island games by Lucas Arts, containing characters created by Ron Gilbert.

Excerpted from “The Memoirs of Carl, the Swordmaster of Jambalaya Island: The Monkey Island years”

“Well, my voyage to the far off distant land of Monkey Island is about to start, and there’s no way you can put a good spin on that. My companions are a crazy pirate who seems to think that pants and hygiene are optional extras, and Guybrush Threepwood, voted three times most likely to soil himself in a swashbuckling situation. Some confidence they instill!”

Starring:
Tom Negrette as Guybrush Threepwood
Matthew Smith as Carl, the Swordmaster of Jambalaya Island
Stanley Brain as Valora DeCazador

Written and produced by Matthew Smith

“Se La” by Lionel Richie
“Slippery When Wet” by The Commodores
“Cupid” by Jack Johnson

Hi there, Tim. You might remember me, a bit. You bumped into me with my girlfriend in Pitt Street mall in Sydney on Wednesday night and asked me for directions to the monorail station. I gave you a puzzled look for a moment before I worked out who you were, and proceeded to give you completely wrong directions. You should have continued along Pitt St, across Market St, and it would have been there on your right. I haven’t caught the monorail in years, and hope you weren’t lost for too long. It’s apparently a very male thing to do, give directions even though you aren’t certain. I think I should rely on that defense. I hope things are going well for you, I always kinda liked ‘Don’t Forget Your Toothbrush’.

Oh, my girlfriend says hi. She had no idea who you were, but then again, she’s Belgian and can be forgiven for that. And the reason she acted so shocked when you said we make a lovely couple and should have lots of babies right away… is because we’ve been together for six weeks. Not cool, amigo!

For those of you who don’t know who Tim Ferguson is (and really, to be fair, that’d be most people, Tim), he is a former member of the comedic Australian band “Doug Anthony All Stars” and occassionally crops up in media related places. He’s in the middle of the picture above. I’ve been heckled before by his buddy, Paul McDermott (he’s the guy on the left, he called me Seal Boy for some reason). If I buy a taco off Richard Fidler one day does that make my life complete?

This morning, I watched the last episode of Lost for third season. It ended rather strongly, I was surprised by a few things, all in all… it’s left me looking forward to the next season some time in 2008. So that’s all good.

Charlie’s death was a brave move that’s been building for the entire season. So while I hoped it would happen and they wouldn’t chicken out of it, it brings a bit of a lost oppurtunity to Lost. In fact, the character of Charlie has been an entire lost oppurtunity from start to finish - and that’s in the music he could have provided.

Dominic Monaghan (who plays Charlie) can play the guitar. So why didn’t they let him? Every now and then he turned up with it and belt out a few chords, but extremely infrequently. The only song I’ve actually seen him bash out is “Wonderwall” by Oasis (and don’t get me started about Oasis, they bought out four songs with slightly changed music).

If they wanted a musician in Lost, they should have gone the whole nine yards with it and cast someone like Jack Johnson or Donavon Frankenreiter. Someone who could embody the feelgood nature of the island, follow the characters around with a guitar and just sing. Back in the first season, before Hurley’s discman ran out of batteries, we got music montages. Now it seems like they’ve stopped trying.

The finale for this season was screaming for it - right at the point where Jack successfully used the satellite phone would be the point where Jack Johnson would have pulled out his guitar and started playing ‘Cupid’. You’d have the Losties cheering and celebrating, while Jack starts spinning as the camera pulls away from him in the air. Someone telling the people on the beach with the radio, and them rejoicing. Desmond looking at the dead Charlie through the hatch door window, and a tear rolling down his face. Then it cuts to Jack’s ‘flashback’ and the song’s playing on the radio, and he switches it off. Nice tie in there?

But no, Charlie has died a noble death (at the hands of the Beach Boys, no less), and it just leaves me wondering what could have been, if they actually had a guitarist character that they decided to put to use…

At the moment, direct your eyes to the menu. There’s a register option! You can now register to log in and post comments on the main page. Is life good, or what?

Edit: Just as a note, you can post comments without registering. But the option is there if you want it! Thanks for that Met (I knew it in my head, but didn’t make it clear!).

The time has come, my esteemed friends, to get this party started. Nightlight Productions is now back, better, and (debatably) greener then ever! Sure, many of you are wondering what Nightlight Productions is. It’s a website that, at some point in time, had some rather cool radio plays online. That’s something that you should look forward to. Not only that, but updates. Maybe even more frequently than one a month.

It could happen. Stranger things have. Man on the moon, for one, if you believe it.

For now, Nightlight is streamlined. There’s interesting things to read on the frontpage, there’s radio plays, and heck, you can now even get them in handy podcast format.

Much thanks goes to Metallus for this website looking the way it is. Heck, all the thanks. Throw some his way. He loves it. He thrives on it. In fact, go to his blog and throw a little love his way. Tell him that Nightlight sent you, and it’s looking mighty green these days. Seriously. I mean, some sunglasses might be called for.

Thanks also goes to The LFNetwork. They host Nightlight Productions. I’m not sure if they’re completely aware of that fact or not.

Based on the Monkey Island games by Lucas Arts, containing characters created by Ron Gilbert.

Excerpted from “The Memoirs of Carl, the Swordmaster of Jambalaya Island: The Monkey Island years”

“So get this. There I was, minding my own business and just chillin’ out on Melee Island, when this nervous looking guy who had ‘victim’ painted all over him in big letters came and offered me the job of a lifetime. Unfortunately, it had Guybrush Threepwood attached to it.”

Starring:
Tom Negrette as Guybrush Threepwood
Matthew Smith as Carl, the Swordmaster of Jambalaya Island
Stanley Brain as Number Two

Written and produced by Matthew Smith

“Send Me On My Way” by Rusted Root