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I stumbled into Die Hard 4.0 (as it was weakly called here in Australia) about seven minutes late and apparently having missed a fair slice of action. I didn’t care though: it was a movie I’d been looking forward to for quite a while, and it didn’t disappoint me. For a large part of the movie I had to switch my brain off, yes. I had to accept the scene where John McClane crashes a car into a helicopter, or runs along the wings of a fighter jet… and this I could do.

But now we reach the dangers of reading too much on the internet. I think, to some extent, it takes the fun out of movies. Not that I read spoilers or plot points, but I did stumble across the fact that Die Hard 4 was edited down to a PG rating in the US. So since I was looking for it, I noticed it. I missed John McClane using swear words like it’s a second language. I missed the uncensored ‘yippie ki-aye’s that were so sincere in previous movies where dying was hard. And yes, the action was excessive at times to the point where it was unrealistic. Despite this, it’s probably not saying much for cinema this year, but hey - best movie so far this year that I’ve seen. Actually, maybe that doesn’t say much for me.

Bruce Willis gets covered in blood, and needs to be given a comfy seat and a blanket. The hacker guy didn’t try and sell me a mac. The special effects weren’t as cheesy and bad as Transformers (Hoo boy, now I’m in for it…).

One worrying fact is that Hollywood isn’t letting Bruce Willis rest. Or Harrison Ford. Or Sylvester Stallone (although I think most of us would prefer it if he stopped). It seems we have no decent upcoming action heroes, so we’re currently relying on the old guard to get us through the decade. I’m genuinely serious about this - I think The Rock missed his chance, and Brendan Frasier is too pretty to have the crap beaten out of him and still be appealing. Help me out, people: am I missing something?

Happy Birthday, Little Johnny

John Howard celebrates his birthday in style, with a little surprise from his loyal foreign minister, Alexander Downer.

Starring:
Matthew Smith as John Howard and Alexander Downer
Stanley Brain as Peter Costello and the Security Guard

Written by Matthew Smith
Produced by Stuart Moncrieff

 

 Happy Birthday, Little Johnny [3:46m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (647)

I’m going to stand up and say it loud, say it proud: I am so glad that I didn’t waste money on seeing this movie. You can interpret that however you like it - a friend may have paid for a ticket, or I may be indulging in pirate copies - I’ll leave it up to your imagination. But there is no way to deny that when I saw the word ‘Hasbro’ at the start of the movie, I felt a chill up my spine. Not since the days of Barbie has a movie based on a toy line been so widely anticipated.

The transformers didn’t look remotely convincing. Shia LaBouf is meant to be the next Tom Hanks - lets see him act with a dog ‘Turner and Hooch’ style, it isn’t going to happen!

At the start of the film, Shia is trying to flog all his grandfather’s stuff, what is essentially priceless family heirlooms, literally from the 1840s, to get his car payments. This ends in bad news, his teacher gives him an overly generous grade, goes home, trips over a foosball table that he has in his room, puts his gear down near one of at least three computers that are loitering around the room… I mean, hello Shia, if you’re trying to raise a bit of coin, you think maybe there are other things you can sell!?

And you’d think the movie would get very ‘Hulk smash’ with giant robots and cities being in the way. And while it does get like this towards the end, Michael Bay seems to be way more interested stuffing around with a nerd who’s trying to score action with a hot chick! Let me tell you something people, I was a nerd in high school, and if you think that the hot girl is going to realise that she doesn’t want the rich muscly football jock with the nice car and would much rather be with the nerdy guy who’s in a beaten up old smoke belching thing, clambering for her boobs and making lame excuses about seatbelts, then hey, you’re in for a shock. My encyclopedic knowledge of Star Trek got me nothing in high school!

And when you think about it, the ending couldn’t have been more creepier if it tried. What’s with Optimus Prime and the rest of the perverts loitering around while Shia gets it on with the hot chick on Bumblebee’s chest? That is very weird. That is very ‘Eight Transformers of Interest’ right there.

Tierra de los Muertos, Part 03

With the help of a mail order encyclopedia (Tales From the Land of the Dead, volume 1), Death learns more about the legend of the Chosen One and how he will lead the way to the Gates of the Afterlife.

Starring:
Lawrence Aitchison as Miguel Huesos
Matthew Smith as Tomas ‘Red’ Encion
Stanley Brain as Number Two
Stuart Moncrieff as Death

Written and produced by Matthew Smith

 

 Tierra de los Muertos, Part 03: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (553)

Don’t worry, Nightlight hasn’t been abandoned. There’s just a few things going on at once, that’s all.

- I’m in the process of moving. WHERE I’m moving hasn’t been finalised yet, but packing (well, more like throwing away most of my worldly yet useless possessions) is in full swing.
- Beneath Monkey Island part 4 is 75% recorded. I can’t do any more work on it until I get the last lines through, and I hope that will be soon.
- Gabez (of Mixnmojo fame) and myself are working on something a little special, and a little different. Something that I like to call the ‘theatre restaurant of the mind’. Fruits of this labour could be seen as soon as next week. Could be.
- There’ll be another ‘repeat’ going online tonight. I’ll be sticking with Tierra de los Muertos repeats for now.

Tierra de los Muertos, Part 02

Our story continues as Number Two finds his way (reluctantly) to the Land of the Dead, and assumes his role (ever so reluctantly) as the Chosen One who will lead the way to the Gates of the Afterlife!

Starring:
Lawrence Aitchison as Miguel Huesos
Matthew Smith as Tomas ‘Red’ Encion
Stanley Brain as Number Two
Stuart Moncrieff as Death
Casey Scott as Avegail Cervantes

Written and produced by Matthew Smith

 

 Tierra de los Muertos, Part 02 [6:33m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (564)

Beneath Monkey Island, Part 03

Based on the Monkey Island games by Lucas Arts, containing characters created by Ron Gilbert.

Excerpted from “The Memoirs of Carl, the Swordmaster of Jambalaya Island: The Monkey Island years”

“And so begins an epic voyage to the far off distant land of Monkey Island. Who knows what dangers we could encounter? And no, we are not stopping for a toilet break!”

Starring:
Tom Negrette as Guybrush Threepwood
Matthew Smith as Carl and LeChuck
Stanley Brain as Number Two and Valora DeCazador

Written and produced by Matthew Smith

“Chica Bonita” by Shaggy
“You Give Love a Bad Name” by Bon Jovi

 

 Beneath Monkey Island, Part 03 [6:28m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (1090)

Lost Cause I - There’s No Hope!, Part 01

‘The Saga Begins…’

A long time ago in a galaxy basically just around the corner in the grand scheme of things, it is a period of civil war. During the mighty battle, rebel spies manage to steal the secret plan to the empire’s ultimate weapon: the Dud Star, an intergalactic fast food restaurant complete with warp drive and shiny new seats. When they ask you if you want fries with that, I highly recommend you say ‘yes please’.

Starring:
Lawrence Aitchison as Narrator, Emperor, Nearly Dead Rebel
Matthew Smith as Darth Vapour
Stanley Brain as Number Two

Written and produced by Matthew Smith

 

 Lost Cause I - There's No Hope!, Part 01 [5:23m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (717)

A while ago, when the Tierra de los Muertos 3D movie project was still in full swing, I asked Sallim if he could knock a few Tierra based wallpapers together. Being the slacker that I am at times, I never got around to putting them on Nightlight Productions. Until now, that is. Here’s the first one that he did, and incidently one of my favourites. Death listening to his ipod shuffle.

That’s right, an ipod shuffle. Remember those? That might give you an idea as to how old this wallpaper is!

site note: The latest podcast installment for Nightlight will be making it’s appearance within the next 24 hours. Those who are waiting for the continuation of Beneath Monkey Island, it’s in sight: you’ll have to wait until next week. Hopefully the debut of LeChuck will be worth the wait!

Like quite a large amount of people on the web, I watched Heroes with somewhat an avid amount of attention. Every episode made me interested enough to tune into the next, which is exactly what a television series wants, but I couldn’t help but feel that it turned out to be more of a soap opera show then it should have been. I mean, really, these people have super powers. What would be the first thing you’d do if you had super powers?

Me? I’d go for the cool costume. I’d start making a name for myself. I’d right the wrongs. I’d live for a sigh, I’d die for a kiss. I suppose a few of the characters, Peter most notably, tried to do this (sans costume, of course). But really they kind of took the fun out of it.

Oh, and come on, you’re meant to be superheroes! Over the entire course of the season, no one seemed even inclined to pick up a dumpster and throw it at someone, and there was Nikki clearly possessing the power to do so. Plus if you’re mutating genes, is it such a stretch that some of these people wouldn’t look entirely human?

So here’s my idea for a super hero. Tim Kring, feel free to take notes.

He’s called the Sandman, or alternatively (because Spiderman fans might have something to say about that), the Sleepwalker. Pretty much he’s a character that only has the powers to fight evil when he’s asleep - as a result he isn’t even aware of the fact. He’d wear a sleep mask, and a blanket tied around his shoulders as a cape. He’s got a theme song already lined up, courtesy of the band ‘America’ (I understand you’ve been running from a man that goes by the name of the Sandman). So in a way, he’s a bit like Isaac, as in he needs a catalyst in order to access his powers. Maybe over the course of the season he would actually work out that he has superpowers. Heck, he can even have a dark, sinister side - after all, it is dangerous to wake a sleepwalker.

You’ve got to admit, it’s one superpower that hasn’t been done yet…