A radio series in 10 parts
A long time ago in a galaxy just around the corner in the grand scheme of things, there is an epic battle between good and evil fought on the field of fast food and fatty goodness, where Lube Skystalker takes a stand against the villainess Darth Vapour!
Lawrence Aitchison as Narrator and Lube Skystalker
Matt Smith as Darth Vapour, See Creepio, Mouldy-Bun Baloney, and Pooey the Wookiee
Stanley Brain as Number Two, and Ham Slowmo
Sarah Farley as Princess Leer
Lost Cause I – There’s No Hope!, Part 01
Running time: 6:31
The Emperor’s plan to the Dud Star, a fast food restaurant that will bring fatty foods to the entire galaxy, have been stolen by Princess Leer! Unfortunately for her, her ship has just been caught by Darth Vapour, the evil, despicable and all round bad guy…
Lost Cause I – There’s No Hope!, Part 02
Running time: 5:44
A long time ago in a galaxy basically just around the corner in the grand scheme of things, it is a period of civil war. During the mighty battle, rebel spies manage to steal the secret plan to the empire’s ultimate weapon: the Dud Star, an intergalactic fast food restaurant complete with warp drive and shiny new seats. When they ask you if you want fries with that, I highly recommend you say ‘yes please’.
Lost Cause I – There’s No Hope!, Part 03
Running time: 5:48
Lube and Mouldy-Bun Baloney use a convenient mind trick to get past a stormblooper patrol. Darth Vapour shows his dark side, and unleashes his fury on the planet Alderdamn!
Lost Cause I – There’s No Hope!, Part 04
Running time: 6:15
There is no rebel base on Pantooine, and Darth Vapour feels hurt and betrayed by Princess Leer. Meanwhile Lube Skystalker and Mouldy-Bun Baloney are escaping on the Millennium Compliant, with Ham Slowmo and a Wookiee named Pooey!
Lost Cause I – There’s No Hope!, Part 05
Running time: 5:35
The Millennium Compliant (along with all aboard) is tractor beamed into the fast food fly-thru to order their food. Unfortunately for them, as they come up with a plan to save the princess, Darth Vapour feels a disturbance in the force…
Lost Cause I – There’s No Hope!, Part 06
Running time: 4:50
Darth Vapour’s Dud Star has captured the Millennium Compliant, which is holding two droids which may or may not hold the plans to the Dud Star. Mouldy-Bun Baloney is busy trying to deactivate the tractor beam, and Lube, Ham, and Pooey come up with a plan to save the princess…
Lost Cause I – There’s No Hope!, Part 07
Running time: 6:04
While Lube Skystalker, Ham Slowmo and Pooey the Wookiee try and save Princess Leer, Number Two is questioning the droids which may or may not hold the plans that could ultimately lead to the the destruction of the Dud Star. Meanwhile, Mouldy-Bun Baloney is, still, making his way to turn off the tractor beam.
Lost Cause I – There’s No Hope!, Part 08
Running time: 7:26
As the rebels make good their escape, Mouldy-Bun Baloney finally does what he’s promised and deactivates the tractor beam. Darth Vapour begins to get to the point in this saga where he’s really had enough.
Lost Cause I – There’s No Hope!, Part 09
Running time: 6:10
Darth Vapour kills a rebel. Really, does anything else need to be said?
Lost Cause I – There’s No Hope!, Part 10
Running time: 7:12
The rebels, unfortunately, make good their escape with Princess Leer, but it’s not all bad news for Darth Vapour. At least he’s still got his beloved Dud Star…
The Wookiee That’s in Lost Cause
Running time: 4:19
With apologies to Sting